Take a ride in my rig

I’m so sick of everyone thinking I’m a dyke. Just because I like to wear flannel shirts and drive a big rig doesn’t mean that I’m gay. Anyway, not that that’s out of the way…

I drive a truck for a living, a big one. I named her Lucille. While all the girls in school were dreaming about becoming doctors and Barbies, I wanted my own diesel rig, and I’m proud to say that my dreams have come true. Now the only thing I’m missing is a stud to sit shotgun with me.

About me: I’m a three time state women’s arm wrestling champion. 2002-2004 baby!!! The 2005 tournament is coming up soon and I plan on kicking some serious ass. God I love being me. I ritually shave my head every full moon and have a weak spot in my heart for methamphetamines, but really, what trucker doesn’t? I have calves the size of basketballs and I could also tell you which restrooms in the North East are the best. Even though I’m originally from Maine, I like to decorate my rig in Confederate flags because it’s the cool thing to do in the trucking world, but also because I don’t like black people, or Jews for that matter…hell, you need not apply if your Hispanic either, or just brown in general. That shit won’t fly with my trucker buddies.

About you: I love a man who wears Looney Toons T-shirts or similar tattoos. Milwaukee’s Best is also a huge turn on. I don’t like smokers, but the two of us can share a pouch of chew. I like chew a lot. If you hate the police, we should get along just fine. You should probably be less than 6’3, because that’s how big I am and unlike the rest of the pathetic submissive female population, I like to be larger and dominate my man. I’m also looking for someone reasonably educated, by which I mean you should have at least made it through your junior year of high school.

Next week the gang and I are having our annual competition for who can hit the largest animal. Last year I hit a 250lb deer, but Bobby Joe hit a damn moose and took the pot money. At least I was able to sell the deer meat. But this year I don’t intend on losing. So if you want to be a part of the action email me and we’ll have a gay ole’ time. Yee Haw!!!