Remember that scene...

You know the scene in “The Breakfast Club” when Molly Ringwald puts her diamond earring in Judd Nelson’s hand and we all get that warm fuzzy feeling that can only come from the genius of John Hughes? Even though they’re polar opposites in almost every way, the two connect on a level that neither will forget for the rest of their lives. The bad boy and the princess share a moment. It makes all us hopeless romantics keep holding on to the notion that love can be found in the most unlikely of places. If you can sympathize with this kind of off kilter connectedness and have some minimal skills in acting, you just might be the right girl for me.

I’m an aspiring director and what I want to do is recreate these emotionally charged scenes from the Breakfast club with my own stamp of style and I need your help. Instead of being the spoiled Ringwald, you will be a sexually deprived house wife named “Loquisha”. I will be the unsuspecting dishwasher repair man who just happens to have the sexual stamina of an Alpha male lion. The famous scene in which the five young stars all smoke pot and dance around the library will be changed into a raunchy threesome extravaganza on your kitchen floor with the equally sexually frustrated neighbor, Candy, who, like Ally Sheedy, will have dark hair. Anthony Michael Hall and Emilio Estevez’s characters will instead be my long-donged frat buddies who walk in unannounced during the ménage a trois to ensure that the film has some quality Chinese finger-cuff action. They will also double as my video and sound men.

This is a serious project that I have poured a lot of my heart and soul into. Though I’m looking for an actress that is willing to sacrifice for the art of the craft and offer us a Pro Bono performance, I am willing to compensate for your time with food stamps and cigarettes. We like closeness and camaraderie on the set and are not looking for any
Pre-Madonnas. I am hoping our relationship will have the opportunity to bud and grow as a result of working on such a passionate project together.

Please send head shots and body shots and let me know if you’re one of those gifted women who lack a gag reflex. I hope to hear from you soon. This is going to be so exciting. Good luck.